Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Rumble strips road head = magical
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
