I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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