Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
