Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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