Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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