yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
