The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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