dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
