White coat. Heels.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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