I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
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