there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
no you cant smoke seaweed
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
