And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It's not a walk of shame if you run
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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