Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
