It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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