they need to just BURY HIM!
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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