Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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