I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Dicks are not precious.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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