I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
