ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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