just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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