This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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