all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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