If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
