what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
