Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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