how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
3 2 1 whiskey
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
