Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
