I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
