Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize