I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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