i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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