He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
he fucked my hip out of place.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
