Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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