Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
now i know why i became what i already was.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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