I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
