i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
