If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
