When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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