Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
