Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
