dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
