i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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