youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
