porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
COCAINE IS GR8
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
