Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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