Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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