She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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