Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
