i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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