I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
