Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
