He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
