btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize