Christians are straight up FREAKS
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
you will always have a special place in my vag
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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