I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
