What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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