Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
